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September25

TWO CHOICES WHEN YOU DECIDE TO TRY AND GET PREGNANT

Trying to get pregnant is one of the biggest decisions a couple can take in their lives. Deciding to bring a life in this world, for which they will be responsible to bring up and guide through life is daunting and awesome at the same time. It should be not taken lightly. It should not be done because of a drunken night, the possible tax benefits or the granting of a flat or a house by the council. It should be taken because they are ready and mature enough to undertake this momentous task.

When the decision is taken, they have two choices. Keep it to themselves or share it with friends and family.

If they keep it to themselves and get pregnant straight away, no harm is done. If they have trouble getting pregnant, they suffer in silence and continue trying while everyone around them is clueless to their anguish and torment. They have no outside pressure as no one is any the wiser.

If they share their plans with others and get pregnant straight away, again no harm is done. However here comes the kicker… If they have trouble getting pregnant, they will not only have to put up with their own private Hell, but also with the continuous phone calls and questions, ”Are you pregnant yet?”

The most prudent action, in my opinion, is to tell no one. Couples who got pregnant easily, will be wondering about the necessity of the above statement. If only life worked the way we expected it to work! You will be surprised as to the number of couples in the world who suffer because of this decision to bring life in the world. You will be surprised as to the depth of the desire for a woman to be a mother and when that desire and dream never materialises. The years they go living with this inability of theirs to get pregnant. Their lives being on a stand still because nothing else matters. There is no happiness in their lives and no laughter. The only thing that prevails is depression and resentment. In some cases divorce as the husband finds it all too much and walks away. All this from that tiny decision.

The last thing you need if you are fruitlessly trying to get pregnant, is friends and relatives asking you every month, or putting their arms around you telling you it will be all right. It is bad enough dealing with your own depressing inability to get pregnant, without having them asking you every single month and reminding you of your failure. Your problem is amplified and the pressure on you is greater than it should have been. Unless they have been through this harrowing inability to get pregnant, they have nothing constructive to offer you. You do not need this unnecessary pressure. You will get more quality support by going on the internet and joining groups that deal with infertility or trying to get pregnant. You are more likely to receive understanding from strangers who are going through what you are going through than from friends and relatives who most probably have not got a clue. This is why I go on and on, about the less people that know the better. When you are finally pregnant, shout it from the rooftop. Before you reach that stage though, keep it to yourself if you can help it.

We have been through this anguish. My wife told everyone that we were trying to get pregnant. At the time I did not think anything of it. I did not think that it was not a problem in them knowing our decision to have a baby as in about 2-3 months, I expected my wife to get pregnant! I was virile. No harm done. Boy, were we wrong!

We all expect that as soon as the decision is taken to try and get pregnant, that the sequence of events will happen in an orderly fashion. Our wife will very quickly fall pregnant and in nine months she will give birth to our baby. That is what we all expect to happen. That is what happens to most people and by default we expect it to happen to us. We feel we deserve nothing less. Why would we expect problems? Our parents gave birth to us. Our brothers, sisters and friends had their family in an orderly fashion. We should have it too. Well, life sucks! You will be surprised as to the number of couples that have problems in trying to get pregnant.

  • Posted by vaspx
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